Betrayal. Clarity. Freedom.
“Truth to remember. Betrayal is very personal and affects us at a deep, emotional level. But it says more about the selfishness of the betrayer than it says about you. Your goal is to prevent the betrayal and the betrayer from defining who you are. Be proactive - not reactive.” - Phil Waldrep
“This moment, … is a sign for you, a roadmap out of where you never expected to be. You get to choose to trust others again, you get to choose to forgive, you get to choose the bravest story. You get to rise courageously because: Forgiveness only happens where a death has happened. Forgiveness only happens where hope has died, expectations have died, plans have died, reputation has died, fairness has died, dreams have died. You get to be brave in the face of betrayal and choose: If you don’t die to something so you can forgive someone, it’s your own quality of life and very soul that begins to die. There is never any forgiveness without someone getting to pay for it. There is no forgiveness without demanding the cost or paying the cost. You believe it: Everyone has been betrayed. But betrayal doesn’t get to destroy your trust in everyone. Just because every betrayal begins with trust doesn’t mean every betrayal has to end with cynicism. Whatever that betrayal took from you, it doesn’t get to take every relationship from you. You get to turn the rare gift of these vulnerable pages that hold life-giving healing and radical freedom, and you get to turn to the face in the mirror and ask: How can I not pass on the cup of grace that I have drunk so deeply from? How can I refuse anyone the mercy that I have needed to stay alive?” - Ann Voskamp
Through betrayal, we can see the fallacy in all perception. Every. Single. Person. Perceives. Or should I say mis-perceives. It’s important that we not only finally see others through the behaviors of betrayal. But that we also see ourselves and recognize our own judgement. It’s an opportunity to look within, through mindfulness, meditation, yoga, or prayer.
By looking within, we may find a Buddhist view “not just happiness but clarity of vision: the actual truth about things, or at least something way, way closer to that than our everyday view of them. One big lesson of Buddhism is to be suspicious of the intuition that your ordinary way of perceiving the world brings you the truth about it.” (Wright, Robert. Why Buddhism is True. 2017). In an attempt to see through our perceptions and find clarity, I would argue comes strength. A strength to let go of judgement, trust ourselves, and let go of what is perceived, to be at peace. The peace and clarity is what will carry us forward past the betrayal, into forgiveness, and into freedom and a new life.